Ms. Hanoi, Mid-30's based in San Diego, California

Dear Ms. M,

I am a Vietnamese national and a legal permanent resident of the USA. I married my longtime sweetheart, and when I moved here to join him about three years ago, I still wake up in utter culture shock. I know you think I should have already adjusted by now, but the culture is different from where I originated. I am preparing to take my naturalization soon. Should I stay in the USA? I don't have many friends; people seem to mock and laugh at my Vietnamese accent behind my back, and that's why I never gained any confidence to find work. I love my husband, he is the only good thing here, and he says that the USA holds so much opportunity for me (I used to be a marketing and advertising manager back home), but I don't see it at all. How do you think I can adjust and maybe embrace life in the USA?


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Dear Ms. Hanoi,

I have to tell you that there is no reason to feel belittled in America as a Vietnamese legal resident here in the US. Be proud of your heritage. The Vietnamese people have contributed much to the economy of the country. Throughout America, Vietnamese-Americans have opened supermarkets, restaurants, bakeries, barbershops and auto-repair, personal services, repair and maintenance businesses, and nail and beauty salons. Give it some time, and soon you will embrace this country as your second home. Believe your husband in what he told you. There may be some challenges at first, but soon you will use those skills to survive here if you were a professional in your home country. Every Asian American has stories to tell, much of which is their difficulties embracing the American culture but most of them are thriving entrepreneurs. So I wish you all the luck as you find your success.

Love and Light
Ms. M