What’s your Love Language?

By: Marylaine Viernes

With over 13 million copies sold since being published in 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, “The Five Love Languages: How to express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate” has now become a widely respected and adhered-to pillar of tenets when it comes to all things Love.

The simplicity and practicality of the principles of the Five Love Languages along with its creative presentation makes it relevant and appealing across generations, cultures and demographics.

The Five Love Languages are described as follows:

1. Words of Affirmation – this pertains to those who are all about giving and receiving encouragement or affirmation to their loved ones. The people who cling to this Language express their feelings in both verbal and non-verbal actions. They shy away when their efforts are not appreciated or recognized.

2. Physical Touch – this is the signature of those who show how much they care through touch. The sense of touch is the first to develop among infants and the last sense to go upon demise. This is why “touch therapy” has become a very popular practice among mothers during pregnancy and delivery. This Language is all about hugs, kisses, cuddling and other touchy-feely ways of showing love. The opposite of this is physical abuse and neglect.

3. Receiving Gifts – who doesn’t love this particular Love Language? This is for those who turn to material generosity when it comes to expressing their love. They appreciate receiving tangible gifts and shower their loved ones with the same. Forgetting special occasions and deliberately withholding material gifts even when one can afford such adversely affects those who choose this language.

4. Quality Time – this one is applicable to couples, and also for parent-child relationships. This Love Language makes it easy for those who adhere to it, to cut distractions and wholly focus on the one they love. It’s all about simple, special moments like a walk in the park, doing chores together, as long as the focus is only on each other. Definitely, distraction is a major detriment to this particular love language.

5. Acts of Service – another one that traverses beyond romantic relationship, this love language can also apply to the extended family and valued members of the community. Here, the “giver” is all about lightening other people’s load. It’s all about charity and support and can range from acts as simple as carrying another’s grocery bags to responding effectively during an emergency. On the opposite of this spectrum would be apathy or lack of concern, especially when others are faced with a difficult situation.

Take the Love Language Quiz!

Season of Love, we will help you discover your Love Language. We hope that this can help you enhance your relationships with your significant other, your children, parents, siblings and close friends. Simply take the quiz below, answer as honestly as possible and we hope that you can embrace and enhance the way you show love and light to those nearest and dearest to you.

DISCLAIMER: This quiz is designed solely for entertainment purposes only, based on the writer’s interpretation of the Five Love Languages. It does not make certified claims, and neither is it intended to ascertain equivalence to or replace professional clinical, medical and psychological assessment.

1. On a lovely, lazy, carefree Saturday morning, you would be:

A. Volunteering in a homeless shelter or collecting donations for the less fortunate
B. Going on a hike with your special one
C. Doing groceries and then preparing for an extra special brunch for the family
D. Enjoying one-on-one hot tub complete with bubbles and scented candles
E. Starting a movie marathon with your loved ones early; right after breakfast and coffee!

2. Your Dream Career would be…

A. An FBI Agent
B. An Entrepreneur with a thriving self-made business
C. Head of Retail or Merchandising of a Top Design House
D. A Fabulous Fashion Designer
E. A Teacher or Guidance Counselor

3. If you were given money to holiday on two specific location for a week, where would you go?

A. Machu Picchu, Peru and Easter Island, Chile
B. Bali, Indonesia and Kerala, India
C. Paris, France and New York City, USA
D. Bangkok, Thailand and Budapest, Hungary
E. Maldives and The United Kingdom

4. The hit TV series and star that you like or can relate with the most in this list would be…

A. Grey’s Anatomy and Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey
B. Gilmore Girls and Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia
C. Gossip Girl and Blake Lively and Penn Badgley
D. The Client List with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brian Hallisay
E. Supernatural with Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles

5. When your best friend rushes to you with a problem, what do you do first?

A. Give food or drink, anything that will make him or her feel better
B. Spend the entire day to help him or her through it
C. Taking him or her out shopping and dining
D. Giving a nice warm hug and going on a spa day
E. Just listen to him or her pour his heart out, not giving any judgement or advice

6. Your comfort food and place would be…

A. A nice, hearty homecooked casserole that taste and feels like home.
B. Chocolate, ice cream, cake… only sweets, please!
C. Steak, wine and other fabulous, fine dining staples.
D. Sushi, sashimi in your favorite local authentic Japanese food joint.
E. Burgers, fries, root beer float… the works!

7. On a night out but you can’t take in alcohol because you will be driving the gang home, your beverage of choice is…

A. An energy drink mix, of course, for that energy all night, because they’re all depending on you.
B. Piña colada mocktail. Sweet and tangy at the same time. You deserve it!
C. Pomegranate mojito mocktail. Pink pomegranate… need I say more?
D. Just good old soda. Sprite or Coca-Cola. Who cares, it’s the fizz you’re after.
E. Hot tea. Something nice, unassuming and healthy.

8. The one song that you would secretly sing and dance to in the shower would be…

A. Don’t Stop Believing by Journey
B. Nothing’s gonna stop us now by Starship
C. Material Girl by Madonna
D. YMCA by The Village People
E. Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

9. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

A. Super speed, just like Flash
B. I want to be part of a family of Supers, like the Incredibles
C. Super intellect just like Ironman
D. Mind control and Telekinesis
E. Time travel. The ability to go back in time and even stop time.

10. What is your heart’s deepest wish, or at least the one closest to yours?

A. A world devoid of war, crime and poverty.
B. To have a long and healthy life.
C. All the money in the world that you will use for good, of course. Or at least to be as rich as Elon Musk who rang in 2021 as the richest man in the world.
D. To be able to heal diseases.
E. To be a famous bestselling author and/or motivational speaker.

It’s now time to learn your Love Language! Simply count which letter you chose the most and refer to the chart below:

Mostly A’s: Your Love Languages is… ACTS OF SERVICE!

• You love helping others and everyone loves how you devote your time, talent and resources outside just your immediate family. Keep it up, but don’t forget to also give yourself love and attention because you deserve it!

Mostly B’s: Your Love Languages is… QUALITY TIME!

• You love private time with those dearest to you; you don’t yearn to save the world because your world consists of the few nearest you and that’s alright. After all, we start with loving ourselves first, our spouses, our kids and member of our family, and soon, we will see that love spill forth!

Mostly C’s: Your Love Languages is… RECEIVING GIFTS!

• You’re someone everyone wants to be around with, especially during special occasions because you love giving gifts as much as or more than receiving anything. Seeing the smiles on your recipient’s faces is enough to make you smile. You also know how to lavish your loved ones with presents; just don’t overdo it, keep the finances healthy; only spend within your means. Be a wise shopper beyond just a cheerful giver.

Mostly D’s: Your Love Languages is… PHYSICAL TOUCH!

• Your spouses and kids all look forward to your special touch. When your partner gets home, you lovingly give a nice neck, back or even foot rub. Your little ones love how you massage them after every shower. Don’t forget to give yourself a special spa day too, at least once a month because you also deserve to unwind and keep your magic touch, so that you can keep giving on that good, sensual love.

Mostly E’s: Your Love Languages is… WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!
• Everyone looks on you for words of wisdom and advice, because you speak from the heart and you genuinely care. But most of all, you also know how to listen, and that’s why you know exactly what to say. Stay honest with yourself and those around you because that is what they loved most about you.

Whatever your Love Language is, embrace it and allow it to enhance your relationship with those who matter most!